A McIntire

I wrote this blog about 2 months ago when my Grandma McIntire passed but never posted it!! I wanted to make sure and get it up on here before I posted anything else!!

I have always been extremely proud to be a McIntire. I come from an amazing line of ancestors (on both sides of my family) and I am so grateful and proud to come from such a great heritage from both my mother and my father's line of ancestry. Through the stories that have been passed down and even journal entries that I've been able to read I am constantly amazed and inspired by the people in my blood line. I always hope that bits and pieces of their characters and personalities were carried down and are a part of me. Thinking of them has even helped me to stand a little taller and do things differently knowing who I am representing with my name. I have to say that I am so lucky because this is true about both sides of my family - going down my mothers line as well as my father's, but right now I want to focus on the McIntires, especially my Grandma McIntire.

Her name was (is) Vivian Richardson McIntire and she was probably the sweetest most selfless person that ever lived. She always had a smile on her face and such a sweet presence. My amazing Grandpa McIntire was a fireball and I can imagine she was always the calming factor that he needed from time to time. Although my grandpa died when I was 12 and from stories and faint memories I know what a great man he was- I got to have my grandma for quite some time longer. She died at age 93, 16 years after my grandpa died. Up until about 2 years ago she was running around, living on her own and still so active and sharp. I can only wish for her kind of endurance and health! I think so much of her healthy body came from her healthy mind. She was such a positive and love-filled person. Always with a smile on her face and ready and willing to just laugh at anything. It was funny to see her and my dad like two peas in a pod this last little while when she lived so close to home. He could get her laughing like no other. Even in a rest home with a lot of sadness around her - when she first arrived she said that it was her goal to make other people happy. She said that if she saw anyone by themselves she wanted to talk to them and make them happy. In all the years I've known my Grandma Mac I never once heard her complain. And up until the last time I saw her she was smiling and so quick to giggle at anything. She also had a super silly and sometimes odd sense of humor, which was certainly carried on by my dad and I. I love that about her too!

Although my grandma has passed to the other side she definitely leaves a legacy behind her and such a strong example for others to follow. As my parents were going through her things they found a paper she had written her personal motto and "practice exercises" on. This was something she had written as a young woman and something she tried to live by everyday. They are such simple things, but truly sum up the kind of person she was and the kind of person I want to be. Here is what she wrote:


Practice Exercise
1. I will be as cheerful as possible
2. I will try to feel and act a little more friendly toward other people.
3. I am going to be a little less critical and a little more tolerant of other people, their faults, failings, and mistakes. I will place the best possible interpretation upon their actions.
4. Insofar as possible I am going to act as if success were inevitable and I already am the sort of personality I want to be. I will practice "acting like" and "feeling like" this new personality.
5. I will not let my own opinon color facts in a pessimistic or negative way.
6. I will practice smiling at lease three times during the day.
7. Regardless of what happens, I will react as calmly and as intelligently as possible.
8. I will ignore completely and close my mind to all those pessimistic and negative "facts" which I can do nothing to change.

Read once a day.

How awesome are these little things! It shows her attitude and outlook on life and if these were things we could all do everyday it would make all the difference. The great thing is that she truly did these things and put this into action in her life. She's an inspiration and I'm so grateful for her and all the other amazing examples I have in my life.

Own Up

I think a big part in being confident in who you are and progressing in life is being able to own up to your actions. Whether they be good or bad, but especially when they are bad. We are all imperfect and there will never be a time in our lives when we aren't making mistakes. That is a given. The question becomes whether or not we will be strong enough to own up to these mistakes, do what we can to make them right, and then move forward from them, taking what we've learned and applying it to the future. Once we've made a mistake there's no worse thing we can do than to not own up to it and pretend it didn't happen. Espcially when we may have hurt someone else. It's so important for us to be willing to face them and be willing to bear the consequences that these decisions might bring and do what it takes to make it better to those we may have hurt. This is what will provide us the learning opportunity and this is what will what make us stronger in the future. Mistakes will happen and there is no use in sweeping them under the carpet - we might as well learn something from them right?? The point of living isn't to be perfect, it's to progress and to grow. Mistakes allow us to do that. Hopefully we learn and we make less and less of the same ones, but the important thing is to move forward and continue on with our heads up and with a strong confidence in ourselves knowing that mistakes will be made, but our true character is shown by how we react to them. Own up and move forward.

Nothing's Impossible

You know how I know?
I once saw a YouTube video of a cat and a bird..who are friends.

The Good Life

Read this if you want your life to be enriched: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/the-divine-gift-of-gratitude?lang=eng&query=divine+gift+gratitude

I am so in love with this talk!!! I've heard it and read it before, but somehow right now it's just so emphatic to me. It was a talk given in 2010 by our amazing LDS prophet Thomas S. Monson. I don't think there's a way to read this talk and not be so incredibly happy and grateful for life in general.

There are definitely two ways you can look at life. You can focus on the negative and the things that you don't have -dwelling in the sadness you have because of the missing pieces. Or you can look at all the wonderful blessings that you have and be incredibly grateful for them and realize that nothing is entitled to us, so any gift we have is a truly a blessing. Just being alive with an opportunity to experience and to grow is a blessing.

I love the warning he gives us in this talk. He says "We never know how soon it will be too late." This is in reference to not appreciating and being grateful for the things we have while we do have them. Although it is eerie sounding I think it is so important that we realize the urgency of recognizing the blessings in our lives because it is all too true, we never know when they could be taken from us. It's so important that we not only realize the blessings and especially the people in our lives who are blessings, but that we also verbalize our gratitude and love for them. Not only verbalize to the important people in our lives how important they are to us and how grateful we are for them, but also verablize to God how grateful we are to Him for allowing them in our lives. The time is always now, we can't risk wishing we would've been more grateful for the things we had when we had them.

I like to think about what life would be like if we NEVER took anything for granted. If we loved every ounce of it and we were always aware of the great things we had. It's like looking at the relationships people have with each other during trials. When someone is diagnosed with cancer or something and they know their time is limited so they don't waste a seconnd of it and make sure that they treat their loved ones the best way possible. I can only imagine if we lived each day like that - making sure that the real important things were prioritized that way and that our love was always outwardly expressed.

The blessing of life is incredible! I can't even begin to count all the small and large things I have been blessed with and I'm sure if we all try to look for things to be grateful for rather than looking for the things that we are without then we will be able to really recognize and feel the beauty of our own lives. If we really count our many blessings, even (and especially) the small things - our entire outlook on life can change for the better. Life is beautiful and the more we can recognize it the happier we will be!

Friends

I once heard that if you can count on one hand five good friends, then you are lucky. Well whoever said that is a total moron. Just kidding. I'm not even sure if anyone has ever said that before, but chances are SOMEONE SOMEWHERE has said that statement. And if they did, then I agree with it...and if no one has said it before then I take credit for its wisdom. Because I love friends...not just the acquaintance type friends that make you feel popular at church or at a LAN party....but the real friends. The good ones, the close ones, the ones that truly make an impact on your life. The ones that really matter. I consider a good friend not only someone that I can have great times with, but someone that I can call up at any time and divulge my every thought and feeling - the good and the bad - and know that not only will they listen, but they will desire to help, love and support me through all of it. It's also someone who can throw you back into reality when perhaps you can't see it...someone who will tell you when your hair looks bad and that you need to "take it out of that dykish pony tail" (direct quote from one of the best). I love feeling close to the people that are important in my life and a part of that is being able to talk to them about things that are near and dear to me. I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends and family in my life who are willing to listen.

There are a few girls out there who know me inside and out and who have helped me through so much in my life. Some of these friends live far away and many I don't see every day, but I always know they are there for me. Honestly I probably would have made some really crazy decisions without them. But then again, they've probably facilitated other pretty crazy decisions as well! I'll list all those crazy decisions out in my next blog post. From the small things in life like needing someone to talk to after losing an intense game of Spider Solitaire to some of the hardest trials in life - I've always had people to pick up the phone and call when I've needed them. Most of the time it's all about laughter and being sarcastic because my friends are hilarious, - but luckily when occasion calls for it in addition to the silliness I can talk about the most serious things in life such as the oil crisis, endangered species and communism in Cuba. Among a few other things, too.


Even if I don't have a million different people I can call friends and even if I'm not voted most popular in this years yearbook - I know that my life is so much more fulfilling and rich because of the few close friends that I do have. If I never made another friend again in my life I still feel like I'd have all the love and support I need because of the life long friends I already have. For that I am so incredibly grateful. Shout out to all my homegirls, including the ones in prison! I love my friends and hope that I can be the kind of friend to others that my friends are to me.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

I really hate that song. Don't Worry Be Happy. Sorry Bobby, I don't know why but it really bugs me. But it does have a great message even though the song itself doesn't do it for me. It's a great motto - Don't Worry Be Happy!!!

If there's something in your life that you are frustrated with or that you are unhappy about, do something to fix it! Whatever it may be - job, social life, spirituality, relationships, etc. If you aren't where you want to be then make a plan to fix it! And remember, complaining about problems does not make them go away!! So if you find yourself complaining a lot and not doing anything to fix the situation...then just stop. Please stop. There's no use for that and if you're not making the efforts to make it better then you really have no right to complain...right!?!

Although I know that there are many things in life that we have no control over...I feel just as strongly that there are SOO MANY things in life that we do have FULL control over. So most of the time if we are unhappy or frustrated then it is our own problem and it is up to us to find a solution. Beyond that, when things happen to us that aren't fully in our control that frustrate us I still feel like it doesn't give us justification to settle for unhappiness. Because in these cases we always have the choice of how we will react to the situation.

We get a limited time here in Earth. Why spend a second too long being unhappy? Whatever situation you are in, do everything you can to make it what you want it to be, then just decide to be happy. Never ever settle for unhappiness. Make happiness happen. Listen to more Bobby McFerrin or in my case the Beatles...their music always makes me happy!

I Came To Win

This is going to sound really pathetic. But there is a hip hop/rap song on the radio right now that inspires me. Really, it gets me all emotional and literally makes my eyes tear up everytime I hear it. To be honest I'm not even really sure what the entire song is about, I don't think it's your typical rap song about boats and hoes, but who knows maybe it is and the white girl in me never saw it coming. So maybe I'm crying to a song about a stripper and making love in da club - who knows - but there are some lyrics in the chorus of the song that totally gets to me because I guess I'm applying them to situations in my life past and present. The song is a Nikki Minaj song called "Fly" and the lyrics are these:


"I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
to fly, to fly"

Is anyone else crying right now? Like a pregnant lady watching Little Women, right? Maybe you just have to listen to it. She actually sings it really pretty in the chorus. Hahah I really don't know what it is, but I love the lyrics. It makes me think about life and our purpose of being here. None of us were sent to this Earth to fail or to feel defeated. We all came to win. To conquer, to thrive, survive and prosper. I know that we all have so many times when we feel absolutely defeated and feel like giving up. Well don't. Even if there are things we fail at in life, as long as we pick back up and keep pushing to get through it then we will be victorious. There will be sadness, there will be heartache and hard times, but we came to conquer all of this and to rise above it. So don't let it overcome you and define what your life is. You came to win, so act like it and always be aiming to fly, even when you feel like you're grounded.

I have been inspired by a rap song. My next post will be about how Sir Mix A Lot's "Baby Got Back" changed my life back in '92.

Change

"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."

I love this quote.

Obligations and Desires

Obligations. Things that we have a sense of duty for and that we know we should do. To be honest I’ve never been a fan of obligations. Not because I don’t believe in having a sense of duty, or doing the right things; I just believe in doing these things for the RIGHT REASON, rather than because you feel obligated.

There have been many instances in my life when I’ve felt obligated to do something. In most cases If I feel obligated and if someone is counting on me, I will do it – no questions asked. I’m sure most people out there are the same way. However, in these instances where I do something purely because I feel obligated, the experience in itself is much different than it would’ve been if I would have done the act on my own accord with my heart in the right place. This is where my frustration with obligations comes from. If you truly are obligated to do something, and there truly is a sense of duty that you have to do it, then it is probably something you should want to do and something you should be willing to do on your own accord, aside from the obligation. Your heart should be in the right place…to the point where it doesn’t become an obligation anymore, it becomes a desire. Therefore, I don’t think obligations should really exist; rather they should be replaced by righteous desires. Because like I said, if you feel obligated then obviously there is a certain expectation and a certain duty you should be fulfilling and in most cases it is a good thing. There might be certain circumstances where you could feel obligated to do something that isn’t right…in those cases the logic of my blog is completely thrown out the window, so for now we will ignore those haha. But if it is an obligation that sets you to a higher standard, one that you know you should be at, then it is up to you to turn it into a righteous desire rather than an obligation and that comes from within yourself and in your heart.

Once our attitude towards these “obligations” change and we truly see them as opportunities to grow or to do the right thing we can get so much more out of the experiences we have. Perhaps our actions haven’t changed one bit, we are still doing the same things, but the attitude can truly make all the difference. I know that having righteous desires in our lives can change them dramatically because it leads us to accomplishing and doing more good than we ever thought possible. The starting point is having that desire, and if it isn’t something that is already there for us as we fulfill our obligations than there are definitely things we can do to obtain those righteous desires. I really loved one of the conference talks this past April by Dallin H. Oaks that talked about righteous desires. He speaks on the topic so perfectly. You can read it here if you haven’t read it or heard it before: http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/desire?lang=eng

Having the right desires in life will lead us to accomplishing all the right things and in all the right ways and with the right attitude. It’s the beginning step to true happiness and joy.

Reach for it!

"There are powers inside of you
which, if you could discover and
use, would make of you everything
you ever dreamed or imagined
you could become."

I can't imagine what this world would be like if each and every individual was able to recognize their true potential and continually strive to fulfill it. I truly believe that each of us were created with a divine destiny and that our conquest in life is to realize the divinity within ourselves and become the person that we were meant to be.

My biggest fear in life is never reaching my full potential, or not accomplishing all of the things that I could have done in my lifetime. Rather than allowing the fear to paralyze me, my hope is to use it as a catalyst to work harder at realizing my potential, and then doing what it takes to meet that potential during this life.

It's difficult to ever really know exactly what you have the potential to do. I think the key is to live a life where you are continually progressing and finding opportunities to improve yourself and others around you. A huge stumbling block in the way of progression is complacency. I hate complacency! I don't think anyone should be just fine with being "average" or only doing what it takes to get by. Who are we to be average? I don't think God created us to be average or to use our time on earth to just slide by. The greatest thing of all is that there isn't one person out there who can claim that they are only meant to be average or that they can't be something great. We are all children of God and meant to be powerful and wonderful. It would be a shame if we didn't recognize that and do something about it.

Push yourself to do better. Be uncomfortable, because sometimes that's what it takes to grow. You have to stretch out of your comfort zone to ever progress - and the more you do the more your "comfort zone" will expand and you will find that your abilities are so much more than you could imagine. Until those steps are made - no matter how big or small the steps may be - that "comfort zone" can't expand and it's a guarantee that opportunities in life will be missed.

"Many are called, but few are chosen." All of us have been called to be someone and do something great. Sadly, in the end there are only few that will be "chosen." The way I interpret someone who is "chosen" is that it is someone who fulfills what they were expected to do in life to the full capacity that they could. The only forces that can keep us from doing this is our own complacency and inability to recognize our true potential. If we are esteemed so highly by God himself, our Creator, then who are we to say we don't have it within ourselves to be chosen? Choose to be chosen.

DONE!

I did it!!

Half Marathon/13.1 mile race COMPLETE baby!

Even though I trained pretty well for it, it was still hard. I am NOT naturally a runner, but have somewhat been forcing myself to be one since the beginning of the year. Towards the end I really thought I was going to puke, and even had to cover my mouth with my hand as I crossed the finish line so I didn't end up puking my guts on any of the spectators. Kind of pathetic, I know...but I finished!! And I did it 10 minutes before my goal time so I ain't complaining. It was hard, but an awesome accomplishment and another thing to check off the list. I definitely want to do more races and even a triathlon in October - but I think it will be a while before I attempt another half marathon. Right after the race me, Ryan, Anna and Daniel ordered two large pizzas and pretty much devoured it all. After which I marched straight to my bed and slept for five hours. Oh yeah, I did shower at some point to...I think.

The Balancing Act

The more I think about it the more I ultimately come to the definitive conclusion that life truly is one huge balancing act. And I think that is the way God intended it to be as well. I know that our purpose for being on Earth is to be tested and for our Heavenly Father to see what we will choose when it really comes down to it - good or evil. But what about all the other things in between?

Most days when I wake up I don't feel like I'm having to decide between true good and evil choices. I'm not going to go rob a bank; I'm not gonna kidnap a small child, i'm not gonna put explosives in your mailbox(unless you've really pissed me off)or attempt to ruin someone's day in anyway. The most common battle that I undertake each day is more about how to balance and prioritize the hopefully good decisions that I need to make every day.

Finding a good balance can be really hard. With all the opportunities and options the world we live in offers us, it can be overwhelming trying to decide what we should chose, how much of it to chose, and when to chose it! For example, having a job is obviously something wonderful, something that provides us with satisfaction, self worth, growth...etc. It's important to work hard in life. But where do you draw the line? We've all known workaholics that seem to do more of that than anything else in life. So work is a good thing...but only in moderation and if it is properly balanced with other important things. Let's not be lazy, but there are so many other important things in life aside from a career. The same thing goes for the flip side. Life is meant to be enjoyed and meant for fun, but a life lived solely to seek after pleasure isn't very fulfilling either and your personal growth becomes stagnant. I believe that this is a huge challenge we are all faced with - to find that balance.

Aside from just the work and play balance, I think there are many other daily choices we have to analyze in our minds to determine what to do and how much of it to do in order to keep that balance. Just the simple decisions on what you fill your time with. For example - the internet. I can hardly remember life without the internet, but I do remember dial-up and AOL! Now the internet is such a huge part of our lives, and truly such a blessing for so many reasons! I recently started doing family history and having the internet machine to search around on and use for research is incredible. How did people do it before?? And so many simple easy questions can be answered with one search on Google. Planning out a trip to Ireland becomes super easy when you have access to so many reviews and tour sites all just a click away. Or using YouTube to learn how to dance like Micheal Jackson. So many more things available to us that just wouldn't even be possible 15 years ago. It's amazing. And now we have facebook to reconnect us with all our BFFs from kindergarten and to stay in touch with strangers that become friends while sitting next to them on airplanes.

But we also know that too much of this good thing can also be bad. I hate thinking about lost hours I've spent on facebook that could've been used for something more productive. Something that would help me grow, something that would help me improve as a person. Sure, staying in touch and checking out cool pictures someone posted is not a bad thing at all. But staying up until 2 in the morning talking to people or looking at posts most likely won't help you become a better person. What I mean is, to add up empty hours spent there and calculate how these hours could have been spent at the gym, reading scriptures, cleaning your room, reading a good book, helping a friend or someone else in need, working on/developing one of your hobbies...etc...it can be a little depressing. It's like an opportunity cost calculation. I could chose to do this for a while today...and it's fine...but what am I missing out on because of it? The thing is that there is nothing wrong with facebook, or blogs, or YouTube, or watching TV and other entertaining (but mostly mindless) things - once again the key here is balancing. This one can be particularly hard - have you ever noticed how quickly time can fly by when you're stalking someone on facebook? Uhh I mean....watching YouTube videos...

Anyways there are a bazillion things I could think of that are great things, but only in moderation.. but this blog is already super long and now it seems completely ironic that I’ve spent an hour writing this blog while talking about how balance is important and spending too much time online can be bad. Haha. Oh well. And now you've had to spend way too much of your time reading this long thing. Sorry!!! I totally lied when I said my blogs would get short.

With all this being said, there's no need to stress out and calculate each hour of our lives and make sure that it is all productive and balanced. That's way too much, and I am definitley not an anal person by nature and typically don't think there is ever a need to be. However, I think if we just have the main goal of balance and moderation in our lives that the daily decisions will become clear and we will know when things might be out of balance and are in need for some fine tuning. I really feel like the balance is one of our largest lessons and something that we continually learn and relearn throughout our lives. That's what life is all about - constant learning and consistent growing. Dr. Suess will totally agree with me as he said,
“Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.”
What a brilliant Doctor.

Survival Guide

So this post does not fall in line with my typical postings. It’s just something I felt like writing about. It’s not necessarily thoughts or any great quotes on ways to improve your life, however, it could be helpful if you find yourself in one particular situation.

I often find myself putting myself in “what if” scenarios and deciding in my head what I would do “just in case.” It’s totally relevant because if I ever find myself married to a robot or framed for a crime I didn’t commit I will know exactly what to do because the situation has been well thought out beforehand. One common scenario that I think about is “what if I was homeless?” I feel like I have come up with some pretty good ideas and strategies to get by that I think I’d survive – and not only survive, but I’d do it with style! So if that day ever comes that I’m on the streets and its survival of the fittest – I’ve got it covered. Here are my thoughts:

First of all – who needs to beg for money for food when you could get three perfectly good meals on your own – no cash needed. That’s right – Costco provides. Yeah yeah yeah, I know you need a membership, but really how often do they stop you completely upon entrance to check your card? Rarely. The only time you really need it is when you purchase. And purchasing is not necessary when there are FREE SAMPLES!! I remember going there on Saturdays as a kid with my dad and by the time we had savored all the delicious samples (and maybe gone back for seconds a couple times) we were full as could be, no need to stop for lunch on the way home! So I’d pick the times of the day when Costco has the most traffic and just enter in with one of the crowds. Maybe stand next to a family with kids and act like I’m the oldest sister, or maybe the crazy Aunt. Of course, if you look like a rugged homeless person this will attract unneeded attention, which is why the next piece of advice is crucial.

Beach showers. I’d definitely clean myself up once in a while. The better you look as a homeless person I’m sure the better your chances are of getting a job eventually and getting out of this unfortunate position. You may not want to get completely naked in such a public place, but I’m sure you could get a good pair of board shorts, speedos, or swimsuit (whatever you prefer) from a thrift store with change you can find on the street. Although wearing a used swimsuit isn’t high on my list of things I’d want to do at this point, desperate times call for desperate measures. Anyways, they have showers all over the beaches that are open for free use. This is why it’s also important to be a coastal bum. I never understood why there were so many homeless people in places like New York, DC, or even San Francisco. Talk about inclement weather! Get outta there!! I’d venture west, and not just west, I’d be sure to make it down to Southern California where the sun shines year round and there are zero chances I’ll be sleeping on a bed of snow and very low chances of getting consistently rained out. 75 degrees throughout most of the year makes for some great weather for outdoor living. Hawaii would be the best place, but I just don’t see how one would make it over there unless you were fortunate to start out there in the first place. So before you hit up Costco for free samples make sure you rinse down and repeat a few times. However, you can’t just rinse down – you must use soap and shampoo/conditioner if at all possible, which leads me to my next recommendation.

This is where it gets tricky. I don’t like to condone or suggest any unethical behavior, and even if I were a bum living in the most extreme conditions I’d like to think I’d remain an ethical person. So I’m not sure how bad this one is on the Richter scale of naughtiness …BUT….I’ve always thought about how in most hotels they give out those tiny shampoo/conditioner bottles and soap bars like candy. I mean, even if you hardly use a dab, when the maid comes in to clean the next day they replace the old bottles with completely full new ones. Shampoo/conditioner and soap aplenty! I’m not sure if they throw the used bottles away or what they might do with them. Somehow I think it would be pretty easy to get your hands on those sample size goodies. Whether you grab a few off the maid’s cart while she’s in the room, or maybe you even ask - I’m sure they would be willing to spare a few bottles for someone in need. Even if it is the bottles that have been slightly used! With these items you’re good to go and looking sharp. Maybe even ready for an interview if you can work on the wardrobe.

As for a place to live, I’d save up for a tent. I like privacy and even though the weather in Southern California is usually very nice, the winter nights can get cold and having a tent to at least shield the wind would be nice. I’d probably scope out beaches that weren’t highly patrolled and set up shop there until I got kicked out. Then maybe head to some field in Riverside if that didn’t work out. Another thing I’d save up for – a battery powered radio/CD player. Music makes me happy, and if I have music playing I think I’d be a happy bum. I’d blast my music in my tent and invite people over for dance parties and dance away regardless if anyone joined me or not. Which leads me to my last aspiration as a homeless person.

Networking. If I were a homeless person I would make friends with other homeless people. Id’ be the most popular bum west of the Mississippi. People would know me by name. Not only can you combine resources, but you would have COMPANY and FRIENDS! Life can’t ever be that bad if you are loved and have people to love. Rather than seeing them as competition I’d try to unite as one and be kind of like a club. I’d hang out with them all the time and go on lots of adventures. Plus, strength in numbers if anyone ever tried to mess with our stuff. Not only would I try and find friends, but I’d try to find a homeless boyfriend. Honestly, I really think that when you are love no matter what life throws at you, you seem to find a way to be happy. One thing I LOVE about LOVE is that ANYONE can feel those feelings. Fat, skinny, poor, rich, black, white, Cuban, weird, with home or without home we can all feel that exact same feeling. The feeling of being in love. And it’s great!! So I would find an eligible homeless man and ask him out. I think our first date would be taking a walk on the beach or something like that. Anyways, hopefully sparks would fly and we’d eventually fall in love. Then you know how people get when they’re in love – they say things like “I don’t care where I live or where life takes me as long as I’m with you.” Yep, being homeless wouldn’t matter so much anymore. However, if we did want to get married and have a family then someone better find a job!

I know I’m not the only weird one that thinks about this stuff. In fact, I was talking to a couple of my friends the other night that had their own ideas about what they would do if they were homeless, and I didn’t even bring the conversation up! So I’m curious…what would YOU do if you were homeless??? Any other ideas you’ve had and anymore advice you have to any homeless people reading this blog?

Expectations, Reality and Open Doors

Hahaha - so as I was searching for a related image to post with this blog post I came upon this beauty. It doesn't really apply but I just had to post it anyway. This guy looks totally creepy. Why is this a picture? For what purpose was this taken?? haha Hopefully he's not the grandpa to anyone who is reading this.

Anyways, I’ve had a ton of thoughts in my head the past month, but wanted to really give more time and deliberation to a specific thought that’s been floating in my mind - which is why it has taken me so long to finally post something!

One thing that I’ve realized as I've had more and more life experiences, and as I’m sure most everyone else has realized (if not you will eventually) is that our perceptions and our expectations don’t always equal reality.

For anyone that has seen the move “500 Days of Summer” you can picture that scene where the move goes split screen and it shows the same event – but on the left side of the screen it displays reality – the way the event actually takes place, and on the right side of the screen it shows the main character’s expectations of the event. Not too surprisingly, the two sides of the screen were very different. At the time, it seemed depressing! His heart was crushed because his expectations were so far off from what actually happened. Can anyone relate to this? I sure can. But my point that I am going to try and make is that although the situation may not turn out the way we thought we wanted it to, or the way we expected it to…perhaps the way it actually turns out is just as good, or even BETTER. Maybe we focus far too much on the fact that it is different than our expectations to realize that just because it is different doesn’t mean that it is not as good. Sometimes we are way too fixated on the way we think it is supposed to be or the way we think something is supposed to happen that we miss the boat entirely.

A really great quote that I remember hearing in high school goes something like this, “When one door closes, another opens, but we often stare so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Never focus on the fact that the door you wanted to open might not be the one that opens. Try to feel the breeze coming from another open door and explore that option. Don’t miss other opportunities because we are way too fixated on the one that might not be happening. So many times the new route in life is an even better route for you – as long as you take advantage of it and not let yourself dwell on the fact that it’s not the path you originally chose. Life is never a set course. There are going to bumps and sharp turns caused by external forces that we can’t control! Constantly recharting our course is a necessity in life to deal with these external factors. And this is a good thing because it allows us to explore opportunities that we otherwise might’ve never known existed.

In the end of the movie “500 Days of Summer,” it eludes to the fact that happiness was found in a different place than the boy in the movie was looking. The end of the story wasn’t the way he had thought it would go, but regardless, it was happy and things were good. Once he finally realized that what he had his mind set on didn’t have to be his only option he found happiness! So if the door you’ve been doing everything you can do to open seems to be glued shut, remember that there isn’t only one way to happiness. Just try not to open the door with the old guy behind it. Things could get scary.

2010...Really?? Where are all the robots?

Goodbye 2009!! You've been amazing, you've been okay, and at times I've had better, but for better or for worse 2009 is over and a new decade begins!! Always always always with a new year comes talks of new years resolutions, big plans in the making, goal setting, and reflection on the year that has passed. Everyone needs a new start sometimes, and what a better time to do it than January 1 with a brand new empty calender that's waiting to be marked up.

In the past I was never one to write any of my goals down. I always had and still have so many things that I want to accomplish, but I kind of just did my thing from day to day and waited to see which things I got around to accomplishing. Of course there were certain goals like finishing school, getting a job, etc., that I pretty much had to attack head on, but only because things like that stare you in the face everyday. I had daily classes and if I didn't go there were consequences. And if I didn't get a job there would definitely be daily reminders including starvation, no home, on the streets begging for money. Maybe not to that extreme but I'd for sure be getting daily phone calls from my parents telling me to GET A JOB!

Anyways, after graduating college I realized that I no longer had a set path in front of me. I was totally on my own. I didn't have counselors telling me what classes I needed to take next semester, no teachers telling me I had to come to class, I didn't have parents telling me what I needed to do - I had my own job and my own money and I was absolutely free to do what I wanted. Now it was totally up to me to decide what I wanted out of life, what goals to make and decide how actively I would pursue them and how I would pursue them. It was then that I realized that if I wanted my life to truly be fulfilling, I needed to A) make some goals B) write them down, and 3) work everyday to accomplish them if necessary. I haven't accomplished every one of my goals, but that's ok! (see previous blog Get in the Arena...) Regardless of what things I have succeeded or failed in doing, I feel pretty good about the progress I've made and the progress I intend to make. So with all that said (wow I tend to ramble) it's time to make goals for the next year! Because I feel that so much of our progression requires daily effort and dedication, I like to make daily goals and then also some overall goals and accomplishments for the year or even longer term. I'm gonna post a few of mine so that I have them somewhere I can see them whenever I need to, it will also help me be more accountable for them now that I'm telling other people what I plan to accomplish!

Daily
-Read more books. Even if it's just a couple paragraphs a day.
-Read scriptures/church material for 1/2 hour everyday. My friend recently told me about ReadTheScriptures.com so we started a study group. Check it out, it's a really cool website and let me know if you want to be in the study group - it's all online!
-Smile more, laugh more and help people around me to do the same
-Be more patient with friends, strangers, and other things like traffic!
-Get out of bed without hitting the snooze on my alarm in the morning (so hard!)
-Exercise - my exercise goal is weekly rather than daily, but my goal is to run 10-15 miles per week...uhhh


Overall
- Become a CPA (3 out of 4 tests completed baby!)
- Run a half marathon (May 2nd!)
- Travel more
- Start learning Spanish
- Start courses to get my RE Appraisers license

The great thing about goals is that they provide us with direction. Sometimes as you start working towards a particular goal, you might realize it's not actually what you want. That's okay to chart out a new course as long as you are consistently working towards achieving something. Because if you're not working towards something or putting effort into a particular direction then the only place you can end up is nowhere.

I remember my dad preparing for a talk in church a long time ago and he used the quote from Alice in Wonderland by the Cheshire Cat. As Alice is wondering through her Wonderland she approaches a fork in the road. She sees the cat and pleads him to tell her which way to go. The cat responds that the right way to go entirely depends on where she wants to end up. Alice tells the cat that she doesn't know where she wants to end up to which the cat replies, well if you don't know where you want to end up then either way will get you there.

The fat cat is right, we need to know where we ultimately are trying to get in order to make the necessary daily decisions. And in turn, it is our daily decisions that will get us to where we ultimately want to be so make em good!

Good People

I recently had the opportunity to go all the way to the Philippines for work! Who knew auditing could be so glamorous. Okay so it's not quite Hollywood, but I do love the fact that I get to travel and meet all kinds of people. One huge thing that stood out to me was the genuine kindness of the people there. Despite the fact that my wallet got stolen on the very last day that I was out there (doh! shoulda been more careful; good thing I had already spent most of the money I had brought on fake designer purses and jewelery ;) ) I still make this as my general observation. GENERALLY, people are good. I've met way more awesome and inspiring people in my life than I have horrible people. The people out there were no exception. MOST (all except one!) of the interactions I had with them showed that they were very sweet and very pure hearted. Haha and maybe I can write the money I got stolen off as a charitable contribution?

Even the people with hardly any money - working all day long to get a salary of 8 dollars a day seemed to do it with a smile on their face. These people don't have much, but some of them work so hard for the things that they do have. I didn't take the picture I posted, but this is what the areas looked like that we drove past everyday to work. I noticed too the way they interacted with each other. It almost seemed like everyone was family to one another - so caring and kind, quick to help each other out. And very very polite (I've never been called ma'am so many times in my life!) Even with the traffic in Manila (which makes Los Angeles look desolate!), I never saw any road rage or heard exchanges of angry words, people would wave and smile at each other even as they cut each other off on the highway! Pretty funny to see, but very interesting, and very unlike Los Angeles. Most of these people have nothing and they are still so happy and so care free! It's not a new idea, I think we all have noticed at one point or another that the happiest people in the world aren't necessarily the ones with the most material possessions or the most money. (We have a lot of filty rich, crazy celebrities to read about in US Weekly to prove that point). The happiest people don't have everything they want, they don't have the perfect lives, because NO ONE does. But they choose to smile regardless. Key word is chooooose! It's a choice people. Choose now to be happy and chose to be a good person, no matter what situations or circumstances you might be living in, it's the way life was meant to be lived.

"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way." - Unknown

Special Occasions

"Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God."
--
Mary Morrissey

MAKE EVERYDAY A SPECIAL OCCASION! Wear your new outfit to the grocery store if you feel like it. Tell the people you love that you love them, even if it's not Valentine's day. Wear your favorite expensive perfume instead of saving it for something special. Use the crystal glasses instead of the paper cups more often. Too often we wait for "special occasions" to do the things we love, or the things we've been wanting to do. Far too often that special occasion doesn't come enough or doesn't come at all!

When I was little me and my mom used to love this special brand of white hot chocolate. I remember drinking it with her sometimes when I couldn't sleep. It was delicious!! And then they must have discontinued it because we stopped seeing it in grocery stores. Years later when I was away at school, I saw this white hot chocolate powder mix at a bookstore so I got excited and bought some to bring home for my mom for Christmas that year. This was four Christmases ago! It's a small box, probably like 4 packages of mix in it, so her and I decided that we had to drink it together and that we would save it for a special occasion. When I went home this past weekend for Thanksgiving I looked up and saw the box of hot chocolate mix on top of the fridge unopended! Four years later and we are still waiting for a "special occasion." Mom - we are drinking that hot chocolate this Christmas no matter what!!

Get in the arena...

"It's not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how strong the man stumbles, or whether the doer of the deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is no effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

- Theodore Roosevelt


Probably my most favorite quote I have ever read. The power in his words give me chills the way he describes the man in the arena. Whether the man in the arena losses or wins, he gets the credit because he tried. And as the dust, the sweat, and the blood all prove - he gave his all. And that is what matters the most. I feel like a person is a more of winner when they give their all - even to lose - than someone who puts half an effort into something, but still somehow wins the battle. Even if the man in the arena giving his all does lose, he is that much more prepared for the next battle. And when success is finally his, it is that much sweeter because he has tasted the bitterness of defeat.

I have so much respect for people in the world who are fighters. The ones who have dreams and aren't afraid to chase them - to get in the arena and let it be known that this is what they want and then fight for it. It doesn't always work out, of course. Such is life. But that doesn't take one ounce of credit, one ounce of respect, or one ounce of character from the person who was willing to put it all on the line. I don't think it really matters how big or small the "fight" is. It could be a fight to finish school and get an education, no matter how many jobs you need pick up to pay for it. Or no matter how many hours you need to put in to make passing grades. It could be a fight to get out of bed for work when you feel like crap because you know other people are counting on you. Or it could be a fight to put a smile on your face and and cheer someone up who needs it, on a day when you could use some cheering up yourself. Each of these fights and so many other struggles that people might be working through will cause a certain amount of sweat, a little bit of blood, and undoubtedly kick some dust up in ones face. But at least we are in the arena instead of shrinking from the fight. At least we are putting in effort, in stead of deciding the outcome of the battle before we even fight it. When we decide not to try at all we are passing up an opportunity we had to grow a little more, learn a little more, or perhaps even be victorious in a defining battle. This quote makes me think about the times when I've chosen not to enter into the arena...and it inspires me to get in the arena more often to fight for things that I want, and to create more opportunities to become a woman of such a credit that President Roosevelt spoke of, rather than be placed with the "cold and timid souls who never know victory or defeat."

Better Everday!

So I've never been much of a blogger. Never really even considered it because I couldn't think of anything I would want to write about myself to be posted for the whole world to see. But lately I've been reading a really great book entitled "Everyday Greatness" by the one and only Stephen R. Covey and realized that there are some things that I would want to post for the whole world to see. Because, of course, I do intend on the whole world reading my very important blogs :)

I love a good quote or a good inspirational story and this book "Everyday Greatness " is full of em. It's made me want to search more and more for words of wisdom that ring true and spark a desire inside of me to be a better person. In fact, one of the first things I do when I get to work is hop onto lds.org or other random sites to read an inspiring talk or quote that I know will help me make the coming day a great day....an even better day than the day before. I really feel that all of us have the potential to create the life that they want. Each of us can be the main character in such inspirational stories that I love to read. Each of us has the potential to be someone who changes world, because you can change the world just by changing someone's world. By that I mean that all it takes to truly make a difference and leave a mark is by changing one individuals life for the better. Because by doing that, you have made their world a better place and in effect changed their world.

I think that most of us have that desire to make a difference and to live a good life. To make a lasting impression for the better. Sometimes it feels overwhelming though - how can we do this? Is it one huge feat that we have to accomplish before we can say - I have made a difference? Do we have to overcome a deadly disease, win an Olympic race, adopt five starving children living in Africa, or make millions of dollars to give away to charity? Although each of these things would definitely be considered charitable and awe deserving - I feel like the changes most of us can and will make in the world won't come from such large acts, rather it is an accumulation of small and simple, but good things. In a recent General Conference talk given by the Elder Bednar, he offered a great metaphor for this. He explained that a beautiful painted masterpiece is actually the vast collection of individual brushstrokes - none of which in isolation might be very interesting or impressive. However, as we back up to take a good look at the painting, the individual brushstrokes combine together to produce the beautiful masterpiece - worthy of hanging above a fireplace for all to see! I love this analogy. One brush stroke might not be a masterpiece in itself, but after multiple brushstrokes you can create something beautiful.

A similar analogy I like to think of is a runner. Can someone who runs once a year for an hour be considered a runner? I don't think so. A person becomes a "runner" because they consistently run. Whether its for 10 minutes everyday, or an hour every other day - they are considered a runner because it is something they consistently do. Similarly can we be considered a good person if we make one charitable contribution of $500 a year or because once a year we decide to bake a cake for our neighbor, while the rest of the year we are short with our family and never think to extend a helping hand with people who might be in need because we are too busy with our own lives? I don't think so. Can you be considered a follower of Christ by going to church from time to time or reading your scriptures every now and again, but during the course of a normal day taking hardly any or no thought to Him? It takes consistency and repeated behavior of a particular act before you can consider it a part of you. Through small and simple things great things come to pass. It is the accumulation of small, but great acts that will determine what kind of person we are and what legacy we will leave behind us.

So what does that mean? It means that everyday is important. Every hour, every minute, every second. A smile to a stranger, a kind word, or even biting your tongue when you want to snap at someone (and even suppressing the bad thoughts!) - these things all add up and amount to your own personal character. It means working a little harder at becoming the person we want to be everyday. Setting goals. And then working everyday to accomplish them. These individual, isolated events will all decide our character and the person we are. The challenge we face is to make sure that the brushstrokes we paint - although small and simple movements - will help us work toward that beautiful masterpiece of a painting.

Okay - sorry not all of my blogs will be this long. This is basically my theory on life and something I have come to feel very strongly about - and the reason I wanted to start this blog - so I wanted to expound. Each blog post will be dedicated to making ourselves better everyday! "Living our lives in crescendo" as Stephen R. Covey would put it. Basically I'll just post up any inspirational thoughts, quotes and/or stories I have come across that have helped and inspired me in some way so that others can enjoy them too. The key to these quotes is using them to create an action plan for ourselves. Words can ispire, but it takes our own self discipline to make good things come from them! Please feel free to add your comments and thoughts on things that I put up and any other quotes or stories you might have. I would love to hear them!