Expectations, Reality and Open Doors

Hahaha - so as I was searching for a related image to post with this blog post I came upon this beauty. It doesn't really apply but I just had to post it anyway. This guy looks totally creepy. Why is this a picture? For what purpose was this taken?? haha Hopefully he's not the grandpa to anyone who is reading this.

Anyways, I’ve had a ton of thoughts in my head the past month, but wanted to really give more time and deliberation to a specific thought that’s been floating in my mind - which is why it has taken me so long to finally post something!

One thing that I’ve realized as I've had more and more life experiences, and as I’m sure most everyone else has realized (if not you will eventually) is that our perceptions and our expectations don’t always equal reality.

For anyone that has seen the move “500 Days of Summer” you can picture that scene where the move goes split screen and it shows the same event – but on the left side of the screen it displays reality – the way the event actually takes place, and on the right side of the screen it shows the main character’s expectations of the event. Not too surprisingly, the two sides of the screen were very different. At the time, it seemed depressing! His heart was crushed because his expectations were so far off from what actually happened. Can anyone relate to this? I sure can. But my point that I am going to try and make is that although the situation may not turn out the way we thought we wanted it to, or the way we expected it to…perhaps the way it actually turns out is just as good, or even BETTER. Maybe we focus far too much on the fact that it is different than our expectations to realize that just because it is different doesn’t mean that it is not as good. Sometimes we are way too fixated on the way we think it is supposed to be or the way we think something is supposed to happen that we miss the boat entirely.

A really great quote that I remember hearing in high school goes something like this, “When one door closes, another opens, but we often stare so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Never focus on the fact that the door you wanted to open might not be the one that opens. Try to feel the breeze coming from another open door and explore that option. Don’t miss other opportunities because we are way too fixated on the one that might not be happening. So many times the new route in life is an even better route for you – as long as you take advantage of it and not let yourself dwell on the fact that it’s not the path you originally chose. Life is never a set course. There are going to bumps and sharp turns caused by external forces that we can’t control! Constantly recharting our course is a necessity in life to deal with these external factors. And this is a good thing because it allows us to explore opportunities that we otherwise might’ve never known existed.

In the end of the movie “500 Days of Summer,” it eludes to the fact that happiness was found in a different place than the boy in the movie was looking. The end of the story wasn’t the way he had thought it would go, but regardless, it was happy and things were good. Once he finally realized that what he had his mind set on didn’t have to be his only option he found happiness! So if the door you’ve been doing everything you can do to open seems to be glued shut, remember that there isn’t only one way to happiness. Just try not to open the door with the old guy behind it. Things could get scary.

2010...Really?? Where are all the robots?

Goodbye 2009!! You've been amazing, you've been okay, and at times I've had better, but for better or for worse 2009 is over and a new decade begins!! Always always always with a new year comes talks of new years resolutions, big plans in the making, goal setting, and reflection on the year that has passed. Everyone needs a new start sometimes, and what a better time to do it than January 1 with a brand new empty calender that's waiting to be marked up.

In the past I was never one to write any of my goals down. I always had and still have so many things that I want to accomplish, but I kind of just did my thing from day to day and waited to see which things I got around to accomplishing. Of course there were certain goals like finishing school, getting a job, etc., that I pretty much had to attack head on, but only because things like that stare you in the face everyday. I had daily classes and if I didn't go there were consequences. And if I didn't get a job there would definitely be daily reminders including starvation, no home, on the streets begging for money. Maybe not to that extreme but I'd for sure be getting daily phone calls from my parents telling me to GET A JOB!

Anyways, after graduating college I realized that I no longer had a set path in front of me. I was totally on my own. I didn't have counselors telling me what classes I needed to take next semester, no teachers telling me I had to come to class, I didn't have parents telling me what I needed to do - I had my own job and my own money and I was absolutely free to do what I wanted. Now it was totally up to me to decide what I wanted out of life, what goals to make and decide how actively I would pursue them and how I would pursue them. It was then that I realized that if I wanted my life to truly be fulfilling, I needed to A) make some goals B) write them down, and 3) work everyday to accomplish them if necessary. I haven't accomplished every one of my goals, but that's ok! (see previous blog Get in the Arena...) Regardless of what things I have succeeded or failed in doing, I feel pretty good about the progress I've made and the progress I intend to make. So with all that said (wow I tend to ramble) it's time to make goals for the next year! Because I feel that so much of our progression requires daily effort and dedication, I like to make daily goals and then also some overall goals and accomplishments for the year or even longer term. I'm gonna post a few of mine so that I have them somewhere I can see them whenever I need to, it will also help me be more accountable for them now that I'm telling other people what I plan to accomplish!

Daily
-Read more books. Even if it's just a couple paragraphs a day.
-Read scriptures/church material for 1/2 hour everyday. My friend recently told me about ReadTheScriptures.com so we started a study group. Check it out, it's a really cool website and let me know if you want to be in the study group - it's all online!
-Smile more, laugh more and help people around me to do the same
-Be more patient with friends, strangers, and other things like traffic!
-Get out of bed without hitting the snooze on my alarm in the morning (so hard!)
-Exercise - my exercise goal is weekly rather than daily, but my goal is to run 10-15 miles per week...uhhh


Overall
- Become a CPA (3 out of 4 tests completed baby!)
- Run a half marathon (May 2nd!)
- Travel more
- Start learning Spanish
- Start courses to get my RE Appraisers license

The great thing about goals is that they provide us with direction. Sometimes as you start working towards a particular goal, you might realize it's not actually what you want. That's okay to chart out a new course as long as you are consistently working towards achieving something. Because if you're not working towards something or putting effort into a particular direction then the only place you can end up is nowhere.

I remember my dad preparing for a talk in church a long time ago and he used the quote from Alice in Wonderland by the Cheshire Cat. As Alice is wondering through her Wonderland she approaches a fork in the road. She sees the cat and pleads him to tell her which way to go. The cat responds that the right way to go entirely depends on where she wants to end up. Alice tells the cat that she doesn't know where she wants to end up to which the cat replies, well if you don't know where you want to end up then either way will get you there.

The fat cat is right, we need to know where we ultimately are trying to get in order to make the necessary daily decisions. And in turn, it is our daily decisions that will get us to where we ultimately want to be so make em good!

Good People

I recently had the opportunity to go all the way to the Philippines for work! Who knew auditing could be so glamorous. Okay so it's not quite Hollywood, but I do love the fact that I get to travel and meet all kinds of people. One huge thing that stood out to me was the genuine kindness of the people there. Despite the fact that my wallet got stolen on the very last day that I was out there (doh! shoulda been more careful; good thing I had already spent most of the money I had brought on fake designer purses and jewelery ;) ) I still make this as my general observation. GENERALLY, people are good. I've met way more awesome and inspiring people in my life than I have horrible people. The people out there were no exception. MOST (all except one!) of the interactions I had with them showed that they were very sweet and very pure hearted. Haha and maybe I can write the money I got stolen off as a charitable contribution?

Even the people with hardly any money - working all day long to get a salary of 8 dollars a day seemed to do it with a smile on their face. These people don't have much, but some of them work so hard for the things that they do have. I didn't take the picture I posted, but this is what the areas looked like that we drove past everyday to work. I noticed too the way they interacted with each other. It almost seemed like everyone was family to one another - so caring and kind, quick to help each other out. And very very polite (I've never been called ma'am so many times in my life!) Even with the traffic in Manila (which makes Los Angeles look desolate!), I never saw any road rage or heard exchanges of angry words, people would wave and smile at each other even as they cut each other off on the highway! Pretty funny to see, but very interesting, and very unlike Los Angeles. Most of these people have nothing and they are still so happy and so care free! It's not a new idea, I think we all have noticed at one point or another that the happiest people in the world aren't necessarily the ones with the most material possessions or the most money. (We have a lot of filty rich, crazy celebrities to read about in US Weekly to prove that point). The happiest people don't have everything they want, they don't have the perfect lives, because NO ONE does. But they choose to smile regardless. Key word is chooooose! It's a choice people. Choose now to be happy and chose to be a good person, no matter what situations or circumstances you might be living in, it's the way life was meant to be lived.

"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way." - Unknown

Special Occasions

"Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God."
--
Mary Morrissey

MAKE EVERYDAY A SPECIAL OCCASION! Wear your new outfit to the grocery store if you feel like it. Tell the people you love that you love them, even if it's not Valentine's day. Wear your favorite expensive perfume instead of saving it for something special. Use the crystal glasses instead of the paper cups more often. Too often we wait for "special occasions" to do the things we love, or the things we've been wanting to do. Far too often that special occasion doesn't come enough or doesn't come at all!

When I was little me and my mom used to love this special brand of white hot chocolate. I remember drinking it with her sometimes when I couldn't sleep. It was delicious!! And then they must have discontinued it because we stopped seeing it in grocery stores. Years later when I was away at school, I saw this white hot chocolate powder mix at a bookstore so I got excited and bought some to bring home for my mom for Christmas that year. This was four Christmases ago! It's a small box, probably like 4 packages of mix in it, so her and I decided that we had to drink it together and that we would save it for a special occasion. When I went home this past weekend for Thanksgiving I looked up and saw the box of hot chocolate mix on top of the fridge unopended! Four years later and we are still waiting for a "special occasion." Mom - we are drinking that hot chocolate this Christmas no matter what!!

Get in the arena...

"It's not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how strong the man stumbles, or whether the doer of the deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is no effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

- Theodore Roosevelt


Probably my most favorite quote I have ever read. The power in his words give me chills the way he describes the man in the arena. Whether the man in the arena losses or wins, he gets the credit because he tried. And as the dust, the sweat, and the blood all prove - he gave his all. And that is what matters the most. I feel like a person is a more of winner when they give their all - even to lose - than someone who puts half an effort into something, but still somehow wins the battle. Even if the man in the arena giving his all does lose, he is that much more prepared for the next battle. And when success is finally his, it is that much sweeter because he has tasted the bitterness of defeat.

I have so much respect for people in the world who are fighters. The ones who have dreams and aren't afraid to chase them - to get in the arena and let it be known that this is what they want and then fight for it. It doesn't always work out, of course. Such is life. But that doesn't take one ounce of credit, one ounce of respect, or one ounce of character from the person who was willing to put it all on the line. I don't think it really matters how big or small the "fight" is. It could be a fight to finish school and get an education, no matter how many jobs you need pick up to pay for it. Or no matter how many hours you need to put in to make passing grades. It could be a fight to get out of bed for work when you feel like crap because you know other people are counting on you. Or it could be a fight to put a smile on your face and and cheer someone up who needs it, on a day when you could use some cheering up yourself. Each of these fights and so many other struggles that people might be working through will cause a certain amount of sweat, a little bit of blood, and undoubtedly kick some dust up in ones face. But at least we are in the arena instead of shrinking from the fight. At least we are putting in effort, in stead of deciding the outcome of the battle before we even fight it. When we decide not to try at all we are passing up an opportunity we had to grow a little more, learn a little more, or perhaps even be victorious in a defining battle. This quote makes me think about the times when I've chosen not to enter into the arena...and it inspires me to get in the arena more often to fight for things that I want, and to create more opportunities to become a woman of such a credit that President Roosevelt spoke of, rather than be placed with the "cold and timid souls who never know victory or defeat."

Better Everday!

So I've never been much of a blogger. Never really even considered it because I couldn't think of anything I would want to write about myself to be posted for the whole world to see. But lately I've been reading a really great book entitled "Everyday Greatness" by the one and only Stephen R. Covey and realized that there are some things that I would want to post for the whole world to see. Because, of course, I do intend on the whole world reading my very important blogs :)

I love a good quote or a good inspirational story and this book "Everyday Greatness " is full of em. It's made me want to search more and more for words of wisdom that ring true and spark a desire inside of me to be a better person. In fact, one of the first things I do when I get to work is hop onto lds.org or other random sites to read an inspiring talk or quote that I know will help me make the coming day a great day....an even better day than the day before. I really feel that all of us have the potential to create the life that they want. Each of us can be the main character in such inspirational stories that I love to read. Each of us has the potential to be someone who changes world, because you can change the world just by changing someone's world. By that I mean that all it takes to truly make a difference and leave a mark is by changing one individuals life for the better. Because by doing that, you have made their world a better place and in effect changed their world.

I think that most of us have that desire to make a difference and to live a good life. To make a lasting impression for the better. Sometimes it feels overwhelming though - how can we do this? Is it one huge feat that we have to accomplish before we can say - I have made a difference? Do we have to overcome a deadly disease, win an Olympic race, adopt five starving children living in Africa, or make millions of dollars to give away to charity? Although each of these things would definitely be considered charitable and awe deserving - I feel like the changes most of us can and will make in the world won't come from such large acts, rather it is an accumulation of small and simple, but good things. In a recent General Conference talk given by the Elder Bednar, he offered a great metaphor for this. He explained that a beautiful painted masterpiece is actually the vast collection of individual brushstrokes - none of which in isolation might be very interesting or impressive. However, as we back up to take a good look at the painting, the individual brushstrokes combine together to produce the beautiful masterpiece - worthy of hanging above a fireplace for all to see! I love this analogy. One brush stroke might not be a masterpiece in itself, but after multiple brushstrokes you can create something beautiful.

A similar analogy I like to think of is a runner. Can someone who runs once a year for an hour be considered a runner? I don't think so. A person becomes a "runner" because they consistently run. Whether its for 10 minutes everyday, or an hour every other day - they are considered a runner because it is something they consistently do. Similarly can we be considered a good person if we make one charitable contribution of $500 a year or because once a year we decide to bake a cake for our neighbor, while the rest of the year we are short with our family and never think to extend a helping hand with people who might be in need because we are too busy with our own lives? I don't think so. Can you be considered a follower of Christ by going to church from time to time or reading your scriptures every now and again, but during the course of a normal day taking hardly any or no thought to Him? It takes consistency and repeated behavior of a particular act before you can consider it a part of you. Through small and simple things great things come to pass. It is the accumulation of small, but great acts that will determine what kind of person we are and what legacy we will leave behind us.

So what does that mean? It means that everyday is important. Every hour, every minute, every second. A smile to a stranger, a kind word, or even biting your tongue when you want to snap at someone (and even suppressing the bad thoughts!) - these things all add up and amount to your own personal character. It means working a little harder at becoming the person we want to be everyday. Setting goals. And then working everyday to accomplish them. These individual, isolated events will all decide our character and the person we are. The challenge we face is to make sure that the brushstrokes we paint - although small and simple movements - will help us work toward that beautiful masterpiece of a painting.

Okay - sorry not all of my blogs will be this long. This is basically my theory on life and something I have come to feel very strongly about - and the reason I wanted to start this blog - so I wanted to expound. Each blog post will be dedicated to making ourselves better everyday! "Living our lives in crescendo" as Stephen R. Covey would put it. Basically I'll just post up any inspirational thoughts, quotes and/or stories I have come across that have helped and inspired me in some way so that others can enjoy them too. The key to these quotes is using them to create an action plan for ourselves. Words can ispire, but it takes our own self discipline to make good things come from them! Please feel free to add your comments and thoughts on things that I put up and any other quotes or stories you might have. I would love to hear them!